More than nine out of ten parents want more guidance on how to help kids cope with pet loss.
That’s according to a groundbreaking new survey for the RSPCA – which found that many parents and carers feel unprepared for the questions and emotions that follow the death of a beloved family pet.
Now, as part of its ‘Not Just a Pet’ campaign, the RSPCA has launched an updated toolkit – including tips on how to prepare a child for pet loss, supporting children through grief, and helping families remember their pets after they have gone.
The efforts of the charity to remove societal stigma around pet grief have been welcomed by Dr Erin Hope Thompson, a leading clinical psychologist, who says that while losing a pet can be incredibly difficult, supporting young children to grieve can be a healthy and important experience.
She said: “Pets offer something very special – unconditional love and companionship. So when children have had a close relationship with a pet, giving them clear opportunities to say goodbye is vital. Otherwise, from their perspective, their best friend has simply disappeared.
“One thing I think many parents assume is that if their child is really upset, it means they’ve done something wrong – but that isn’t true at all. It simply means they’re grieving, and grief is hard.
“When we have to say goodbye to pets, families have an opportunity to model healthy grieving. We can show children how to look after themselves when they’re sad, how to talk about grief, and how we carry those we love forward with us.”
But an overwhelming majority of people do not believe pet grief is taken seriously enough by society, according to the new survey.
Just 5.5% of respondents believed pet grief is taken as seriously as it should be, which is even lower than last year (6.9%).
Meanwhile, growing numbers of people feel there is a stigma associated with pet grief – with 70.5% admitting to feeling this way, up from 57.8% of respondents in 2025.
Dr Erin Hope is the Founder and CEO of The Loss Foundation – a UK charity that offers bereavement support, including to children – which believes more needs to be done to address the impact pet loss has on families.
She added: “Pet grief isn’t recognised anywhere near as much as it should be, and that’s a sad reality. We need to stop asking who died and start asking, ‘How significant is this loss for this person?’”
“And in supporting people, one thing we’ve seen consistently at The Loss Foundation is that specificity matters. The more specific support becomes, the more effective it often is.
Included in the RSPCA’s new resources is a video featuring The O’Brien family – who lost their cat Betsi last year, who had been part of their household for more than a decade and a half.
Chris O’Brien said: “She was with us for 15 years, and she saw everything – my girlfriend and I learning to live together – getting engaged, getting married, having children. There had been a lot of change; but she was the constant in our life – she kept us really grounded.”
Father-of-two Chris explains that finding Betsi – who was on treatment for kidney problems in her later life – fading fast gave him a “split decision” parenting conundrum there is “no manual for”.
“Betsi was getting older. She was on medication for her kidneys, and her health had been steadily in decline – though she still had a decent quality of life. But the vet warned us, when things went wrong, it would happen very quickly.
“We have quite a lot of children’s bereavement resources at The Loss Foundation, but I haven’t known of many pet-specific tools. That’s why this work from the RSPCA – and their toolkit – is so invaluable for parents, carers, families, and the kids who are going through grief and deserve to be heard.”
“I found her late one Friday evening, and it was like a switch had flicked, and it was very obvious she was going to die.
“I had to make some very difficult decisions right in that moment as a parent. I really thought my eldest daughter – who was eight at the time – would like to say goodbye. It was a split decision to make, as Betsi was fading, but I went and got Erin out of bed.
“She was initially heartbroken when I explained, but she held her, and Betsi ended up dying in her arms. Erin talks about that a lot – that she loved being with her at that moment. Hopefully Betsi was comfortable being held by someone that loved her.
“As a parent, you ask yourself, ‘is this the right thing?’ for the kids. I look back, and believe it was – but there’s no manual, or right or wrong answer.”
In the coming days, the family had to navigate challenging questions – including from youngest daughter Hazel, who was four at the time.
“Our youngest Hazel would ask when Betsi was coming back – we had to be honest and tell her she wasn’t coming back. But we turned that into a positive – reminding our kids that owning a pet is so wonderful, and is such a privilege, partly because it is time limited.
“Now, whenever we’re out and about and it is dark, Hazel will look for the Betsi star in the sky. So my wife and I, if we are out without the kids, we’ll look for the Betsi star too!
“Every family will be different, and you’ve got to make decisions best for you on how to support one another at the time, but – for us – confronting it, and being up front about things, was a good way to deal with it.
“Obviously, we’re sad that she has gone, but rather than dwell on that – we try to remember all the lovely things that make us sad she’s gone – going on a nice walk, looking back at photographs, drawing photos of her. No family picture for my kids is complete without Betsi being in it; and I don’t think it ever will be!”
But there’s a warning for parents, too, to spend some time on their own grieving, while supporting their family through pet loss.
Chris added: “Navigating our own grief as parents while looking after the children was a challenge – as sometimes you almost forget to grieve yourselves.
“Sometimes we’ll just be sitting on the sofa, with the kids gone to bed, and we’ll just say to each other ‘I really miss her’. She was such a big part of our lives for 15 years.
“There is still a little bit of stigma around pet grief. But it leaves a massive great big hole in your life – but it’s okay to feel like someone has just punched you in the gut, and it’s okay to feel like this sucks.
“How families navigate loss will be different – but there’s no shame in navigating it.”
The charity has also released a ‘voices page’ – which includes a collection of other stories from bereaved pet owners, in the hope sharing experiences will provide support to more owners navigating grief.
Jo Deadman, Senior In Memory Manager at the RSPCA, added: “At the RSPCA, we know pets aren’t just pets – they’re often our best friends and our family. That’s why we really hope our toolkit will help families navigate the challenges of pet loss; ensuring they feel heard, understood, and supported during such a tough time.”
Meanwhile, later this month (13 September), the RSPCA is running its annual Walk To Remember fundraising event – where individuals, families and communities are encouraged to walk in memory of a beloved pet.
The event coincides with National Pet Memorial Day, and the five-mile challenge can be completed on any route meaningful to those taking part – like a favourite dog walking spot, or place that holds special memories.
More information about pet bereavement support is available on the RSPCA website.